Title: The Letter D, for Doggett.
Author: Forbes
Feedback: That'd be very nice, thank you... 
sjforbesc@hotmail.com
Catagory: John Doggett/ Walter Skinner : Humour/Angst/Slash.  
Strange mixture, but there y'go.
Completed work.
Spoilers: No, I don't think so. This is so far in an AU that 
it's almost out the other side.
Rating: Oh, please. Like it's going to be anything other than 
N17...  m/m warning, and all that jazz.
Summary/Pairing: Um... Let me see. Standalone story. Doggett 
undercover, juicy situation, extreme possibilities and  All the  
product of a very twisted imagination.  I wanted to read 
something like this, and couldn't find exactly what I wanted, so 
I had to write it myself.  No great hardship!
Archive: Just about anywhere that wants to give this a home.  
Please leave all this bit, though, and let me know where it ends 
up.
Disclaimer: Yeah, like you could see Chris Carter allowing this 
outrage.  Episodes like these only happen in my mind., very late 
at night, ever since Georgia dragged me over to the Dark Side.  
Blame her...



Part 1/16

Friday Morning.
The Basement.
8.34 a.m.



"Mornin', Agent Scully."  John Doggett slipped his shoulders out 
of his coat and strode across the room.

"Good morning to you, Agent Doggett," came the pleasant reply. 
Doggett glanced across. She was in a good mood today, by the 
sound of it. He tossed his coat on the hook and straightened his 
tie. Pregnant woman mood-swings aside, Scully seemed to finally, 
finally thawing towards him. Not a moment too soon, by his 
reckoning.

"You're cheerful, this a.m." he told her, perching on the edge 
of her desk. "This a  Thank God it's Friday' thing?"

Scully looked up from her file, a ghost of a smile playing 
across her mouth.

"Not entirely," she told him, enigmatically.

Resting his hand on his thigh, Doggett leaned towards her, his 
lop-sided grin playing over his face.  "Do tell, Agent Scully."

Mulder wandered through the basement door, flipping a sunflower 
seed breakfast into his mouth.  He nodded hello at Doggett.  
"Let me guess. You got the prize in your cereal box?"

Her eyebrow slid up. " I always get the prize, Agent Mulder."

He laughed. "I bet you do, Agent Scully."

"Mornin', Agent Muldah." Doggett nodded to Mulder, moving across 
the room, giving the contents of the other man's hand a funny 
look. He made no comment. Mulder's eating habits fell into the 
same category as the pencil-flipping penchant the other agent 
had.  A don't ask, you don't want to know, sort of thing.

"So what gives, Scully?" Mulder wandered around the little 
office.  "Kersh finally disappeared up his own ass?"

Doggett snorted. "I'd pay money to see that."

Scully covered a smile with her hand. "Agent Doggett," she said 
in mock disapproval.

His hands came up. "Hey. Just expressin' an opinion."

She smiled at him, a proper, teeth-baring one this time, 
surprising him, but pleasing him, none the less.

"Dangerous thing, that, Agent Doggett. Expressing an opinion." 
Mulder leaned against the filing cabinet. He spoke whilst 
flipping, never missing a seed. He peered over Scully's shoulder 
at the open file on her desk.

"I'll take my chances," Doggett replied.

A bark of laughter bit into the air. A wet kernel fell out of 
Mulder's open mouth onto the desk.  Ignoring his damp gift, 
Mulder reached over and pointed at something on the page, 
nudging Scully, chuckling.

Scully flicked the seed  away with a grimace. "Mulder..." she 
complained, moving the file away.

"What's so funny?" Doggett stuck both hands in his pants pockets 
and leaned against his desk.  He was trying to squash that nasty 
little feeling that came up every now and then, that whispered 
he was being held out of the loop in his own office. He was 
trying. Scully was trying. And lord knows, he thought, Mulder 
was trying.

Mulder grinned at him. "Not my place to tell, Agent Doggett."

Doggett frowned at him, biting down hard on that unpleasant 
feeling.

Scully tapped the file in front of her. "It seems we have a new 
assignment, partner."

Doggett looked at her, grateful out of all proportion for that 
one little word.  Two syllables that dragged him back into the 
room and out of no-mans' land.  Thank you, Agent Scully, he told 
her silently.  Nodding, he reached for the folder on her desk. 
"Okay. I'll bite. This makes you happy?"

"Well, it came down without a summons to the inner sanctum for a 
briefing." She tilted her head, pulling the folder away from 
him. "And that has to be a good thing."

Frowning slightly as the folder slipped out of reach, Doggett 
wondered what was going on.  "I hear ya. So it's celebration all 
round, then."

"You might not think so," Mulder grinned at him.

Doggett raised his own eyebrow. "I might not?"

"Uh-uh."

Scully made a clicking noise in her throat. "I'm afraid not, 
Agent Doggett."

He stared at his partner. If he didn't know better, he'd have 
sworn Scully's eyes were twinkling.  Scully was teasing him? 
Surely not?

"What gives, Agent Scully?"

That smile appeared on Scully's face again. I could get used to 
seeing that, Doggett thought.

"Bottom line." She laughed softly, as if at some private joke. 
"An undercover  case."

Mulder gave that irritating bark of laughter that earned him a 
stare from both of them.  Doggett held the glare a little 
longer.  "Bottom line, Agent Doggett."

Pointedly ignoring him, Doggett tilted his head. "Yeah?"

"Downtown. Possible emergence of a serial killer."

"Possible? You mean they're not sure?" Doggett snorted.

"Three makes a pattern, but not a serial, apparently." Scully 
brushed a stray hair behind her ear.  "Anyway. Bottom line..." 
Another smile.  Despite his pleasure at seeing her smile in his 
presence, this enigmatic shit was starting to piss Doggett off.

"Agents instructed to go undercover to gather information and 
set up possible sting scenario with perp."

Doggett scratched his nose, levering himself off the desk-edge. 
"Excuse me... But I thought this was the X-Files. Not Violent 
Crimes."

Scully nodded.  "Perp apparently displays unusual 
characteristics in the execution of the crime."

Doggett just stared. "Go on."

"He," Scully cleared her throat. "Or she..."

"Statistically, we're talking white male, 25 to 40. Single, 
socially inept, but reasonably successful in his chosen career." 
Mulder told her, interrupting her flow without apology.

"Thank you, Agent Muldah," Doggett told him with a glare. "Your 
input is appreciated, but I'd appreciate you lettin' Agent 
Scully finish speaking, first." Screw equality and all that 
shit, he hated  rude behaviour from anyone.  Mulder grinned and 
held up his hands in apology.

"Thank you, Agent Doggett," Scully said, flashing Mulder a look.  
Something inside Doggett leaped up and punched the air. One-
nothing to the Big Dawg.  "As I was saying. Unusual 
characteristics." She cleared her throat again. "In the act of 
sex, the killer strips the victims, strangles them and then..." 
She paused to swallow. "Then consumes part of the body."

Mulder flipped more seeds, looking down at the file photographs. 
"Nasty."

"Consumes?" Doggett frowned.

"He bites off the genitals," Mulder told him cheerfully.

Scully looked wan. Doggett flicked her a glance. He was sure 
details like that wouldn't sit well with her pregnant stomach.

"Bites?" Doggett winced.

"Scarfs down the whole meat and two veg," Mulder flicked another 
seed off Scully's desk, oblivious to her rigid shoulders.

"Male victims," Doggett said, feeling a step behind.

"And male perp," Mulder nodded, his grin inappropriate to the 
severity of the crime. Doggett felt his hackles rise.  "You 
think that's amusin', Agent Mulder?"

Mulder shook his head. "Not really. I just have a misplaced 
sense of irony."

Doggett snorted. "I'll say."

Scully shifted in her seat, a little colour coming back to her 
cheeks. "I think Agent Mulder is reacting to the implications in 
Deputy Director Kersh's orders." She glanced up, glaring. "With 
a misplaced sense of humour, I might say."

Doggett shook his head. He could feel himself wandering off 
track again. Did they do it on purpose? Or did all the years of 
working together align mental wavelengths?  He worked his 
fingers over the furrows on his forehead. Perhaps if he had a 
tantrum on the office floor, they'd stop it.

"Help me out, here, Agent Scully," he said, wearily, opting 
against hysterics for the time being.  "Reactin' to what?"

"You're going undercover, Agent Doggett," Mulder butted in, 
stuffing the rest of the seeds in his jacket pocket. "Hope you 
like disco." Doggett was treated to a face-splitting grin.

Scully sighed. "Mulder... Do you mind?"

Doggett looked from one to the other. "What's he talkin' about, 
Agent Scully?"

"Kersh's orders." Scully's lips twitched. "Apparently you fit 
the victim profile. You're ordered to go undercover at the club 
where the last two victims were taken."

"I fit the profile?"

Mulder leaned over Scully, pathologically incapable of keeping 
his mouth shut. "You know, Agent Doggett. Tall, blue-eyed, 
skinny..." A wicked glint in the other man's eye irritated 
Doggett. "On the mature side."

He arranged his face in a neutral mask. He refused to give  
Mulder the satisfaction of reacting to his words.  "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Mulder laughed, moving round from the cabinet, prowling 
closer to Doggett, who watched him approach, keeping his face 
calm.  "You fit the profile, alright, Agent Doggett." Doggett 
stared straight ahead, as Mulder walked in back of him. 
Clenching his jaw, he thanked his drill sergeant for hours of 
motionless parade-ground training. He was not going to turn 
round and look. He refused to.  "You fit the profile just fine." 
The voice very close now. Way too close. Doggett tightened his 
jaw.

"Mulder..." Scully said. She was shaking her head in weary 
amusement. As Doggett  watched, she rolled her eyes at him. She 
thought this clown was funny?

"Only thing is..." Doggett's eyes snapped wide as fingers 
ruffled through the hairs on the back of his neck.  "You really 
need to get a hair cut, John."

Whipping round to face the other agent, Doggett felt his fists 
clench involuntarily.  "Whadd'ya think you're doin'?"  He 
growled.

"Just checking you out for the job, Agent Doggett." Mulder 
backed away, laughing. He flicked his gaze towards Scully. "Tell 
him."

The fists stayed tight. If he took a step forward, he calculated 
that he could probably break that ridiculous nose in one blow. 
Was it instant dismissal for striking a fellow agent? Doggett 
couldn't think past the cloud of indignation of having Mulder 
touch him.

"Agent Doggett..."  Scully voice cut through the atmosphere 
between the two men.  "Agent Doggett?"

Doggett tore his glare away from Mulder's grin with sheer self-
control. He parted his lips to drag a breath in. Sometimes, just 
sometimes, his temper howled to be let out. And he had a feeling 
this particular Agent was going see that beast fly, one of these 
days.  Brought to you by the letter M, for Mulder.

"What?" He turned his back on Mulder, trying not to snap. He 
swore, if that man touched him again... He could feel a headache 
coming on.

"Assistant Director Kersh wants you to go undercover at the Eros 
Club. Tonight. Full wire-tap, video surveillance and outside 
back-up." She was all business-like and brusque.

He rubbed his forehead again. Okay, undercover. No problem. No 
big deal.

"The Eros Club." Mulder whispered, too close to his ear to be 
comfortable.

"So?"  Doggett took a deep breath and locked eyes with Scully to 
calm himself down. She was looking at him with one of those 
smiles all over her face. Did she practise them in front of a 
mirror?

That voice behind again. "Ever been there, Agent Doggett?"

Any second now, he was going to bury his fist in Mulder's face 
and fuck the consequences.

"No."

"Interesting place."

"Really?" Yep. Any second now.

Across the room, Scully sighed. "Mulder. Stop annoying Agent 
Doggett." She picked up the file and held it out. "Here. You 
might as well get up to speed on this thing."

At last, thought Doggett, stepping forward to take the folder. I 
get in the loop. He nodded his thanks and opened it up.  "So 
what's this Eros place then? Some sort of disco?"

Behind him, Mulder chuckled. Doggett flicked his blue eyes to 
Scully. Talk to me, they said. Talk to me before I lay one on 
him. To his surprise, he watched a pink blush crawl over her 
cheeks.

"It's a um..." Scully busied herself, tidying her pens, not 
looking at him.

"It's a...?" he prompted.

Mulder made a snickering noise behind him. "It's a gay club, 
Agent Doggett."

The anger inside Doggett drained away, leaving him with a very 
dry throat and what felt very much like a creeping blush of his 
own.


                         *

Part 2/16



Doggett  swallowed, hoping his voice wouldn't squeak when he 
spoke.  "A gay club?" Okay. Reasonable steady.

"Um... Yes." Scully still had trouble looking at him. Part of 
his mind wondered why that was.

"I see."  The professional agent inside him was currently 
arguing in a corner with his masculinity.  There was absolutely 
no reason why this should be any different to any other sort of 
undercover work. He'd done enough of them when he was a cop. 
Drug-dealers, thieves. Assorted maniacs. Shit, he'd even posed 
as a paedophile, once. The memory of that case brought a twitch 
to his face. He pushed the images away. This one should be a 
walk in the park.

"Lucky you, Agent Doggett." Mulder moved round to lean on 
Scully's desk. "You get to dress up and go boogie with all the 
big boys." Doggett kept his eyes on the folder in front of him, 
pretending to read. He didn't want to look at Mulder just now. 
He wasn't sure he'd got his  calm' face on.

"Yeah, lucky me," he said, neutrally. The trickle of 
apprehension had evolved into full flow. Shit. This whole 
situation was just giggle-fodder to Mulder's sick sense of 
humour. Well he'd be damned if he'd let his discomfort show. 
"What's the plan then, Agent Scully?" Business-like again, 
Scully tapped the phone on the desk.

"Well, we'll wire you up. The lab has some micro-feed mics they 
want to try out in the field."

Doggett nodded, pulling himself back together. Get a grip, man.

"And the club has agreed to let us set up an eye over the exits. 
That gives a good view of the alleyway."

"Back up?"

"Out front. Usual van." He nodded again. Straight forward set 
up. Should be smooth.

"Bodies?"

Scully shook her head. "Just you." She pulled a face. "Kersh 
didn't approve another agent on the floor." She raised her chin. 
"You're on your own, I'm afraid."

Doggett shrugged. No surprise there. Kersh was a skinflint and 
an asshole.

"No problem."

"But..." Scully glanced at the door. Doggett frowned. "I see no 
reason to put your life in danger simply because of budgetary 
constraints."

"So?"

Scully smiled. "I've arranged for undercover' undercover back-
up."

The sound of sunflower seed cracking sliced through Doggett's 
brain. An exquisitely uncomfortable image of being smirked at 
while he did the job, as painful as a paper-cut. No. No way. 
He'd rather go into the damned club stark naked than have Fox 
Mulder eyeballing him. That headache was starting to really bite 
down. He scowled.  "You don't mean..."

Mulder wandered towards Scully. He was chomping those damned 
seeds again. Doggett really wanted to slap them out of his 
hands.

"Scully thought you should have someone in place. To watch your 
back." His eyebrow wiggled up and down suggestively, as his eyes 
roved up and down Doggett's body. Doggett clenched his teeth and 
forced the blush down. If he said what he thought he was going 
to say, that tantrum he'd considered was imminent.

"Unofficially, of course," Mulder grinned.

"It has to be off the record, Agent Doggett. Kersh would..." She 
paused. "Well, let's say it wouldn't be in the best interests of 
the Bureau to have personnel acting as unofficial back up on a 
case."

"I bet not."

"So." Mulder rubbed his hands together. "Don't worry about being 
left hanging, Agent Doggett. Someone will be in place. 
Incognito."

He didn't want to do this to himself. He didn't want to give 
Mulder the satisfaction. He really didn't want to ask. Shit. He 
couldn't help himself.

"Who?"

Scully coughed. Mulder grinned. Doggett looked from one to the 
other. Neither spoke.

"Let's just say it's all under control, Agent." Scully said. 
That didn't sound very reassuring.

"Who, Agent Scully?" he repeated.

"Wait and see, Agent Doggett." Mulder said, that shit-eating 
grin plastered all over his face.

"I'd rather know beforehand, if it's all the same to you."

"Spoilsport." Mulder shook his head.

"Please, Agent Doggett. Trust me." Scully pinned him with her 
eyes. "It's taken care of. I'm not at liberty to say any more, 
at the moment."

Swallowing the dozen or so snappy remarks, Doggett glared and 
nodded, reluctantly. He would trust her. He didn't like it, but 
he would hold his council, for her. But if he caught sight of 
this seed-eating joker sitting at the bar, he guaranteed shit 
was going to fly. He moved behind his desk, slapping the folder 
down, wincing as the photographs spilled out. They were not 
nice. Doggett felt his nuts shrivelling a little at the close-
ups.  He sat, unconsciously pulling at his trouser legs.

"What time's kick-off?' he asked Scully, holding up the case 
notes.

"Your place. At eight."

The papers in Doggett's fist folded gently and hung limply as he 
stared, motionless.  "What?"

Scully glanced at him.   "To prepare. Your place."

There were all sorts of comments he could make to that. Not many 
of them suitable for family viewing. One or two of them might 
even make Agent Scully drop the kid. He settled for clearing his 
throat. "Not here?"

"No." Why the hell not? A petulant voice inside his head whined.

"May I ask why?"

"Cover."

Well, this was a fun conversation, Doggett thought, returning 
the notes to the folder. The woman was enigmatic to the extreme. 
The two of them had a thing for oblique answers. Well, fuck it. 
He was sick of oblique.

"Agent Scully. I hate to presume to question your authority over 
this..." Like hell. "But since when do undercover ops. include 
the agent's private residences?"

At least she had the grace to look uncomfortable. Doggett took 
grim pleasure in that.

"I want to make sure everything is secure." She fiddled with the 
desk tidy again.

"Secure?" He was gonna push this all the way.

"No chance of any mistakes." A flash of something flickered over 
her face. "I've seen the bodies in those photographs. I don't 
want..." She dragged in a breath. "I don't want to expose you to 
any unnecessary risk."

Oh.
Surprise must be written all over his face. Scully gave a 
straightforward smile.

"I care about your safety, Agent Doggett."

How about that? That was one of the nicest thing she'd said to 
him. He nodded, opening his mouth to speak. Shit. What the hell 
was he gonna say? Mulder cut into his thoughts, knocking aside 
anything he had been about to say.

"So, Agent Doggett. What're you going to wear?"

Blue eyes screwed up in a wince. "What?"

"Your outfit." Mulder held his hands out and indicated up and 
down. "What look are you going for?" There was way too much 
mirth in Mulder's voice for his liking. He shook his head.

"Whadd'you mean, Agent Muldah?"

"You gonna go butch? Preppy?" He unleashed another grin. "How 
about drag? I could see you in a nice little black number with 
matching handbag and shoes."

Underneath the desk, Doggett gripped his thigh tightly. His jaw 
spasmed. He was gonna crack a tooth at this rate. And if he did, 
he wasn't the only agent that'd be going to the dentist.

"Mulder." Scully flicked a pencil at the smirking man. "Enough. 
Agent Doggett. Ignore him. He's trying to press your buttons." 
She scowled at Mulder. "Casual dress is fine."

Mulder couldn't resist.  "Dress? See, I told you, Doggett..."

Another pencil flew.  "Mulder!"

Breathing through his mouth, Doggett jerked his head at Scully. 
"Jeans, okay, Agent Scully?" He didn't trust himself to look at 
Mulder. And he really didn't trust himself to speak to the other 
man. The temptation to jump over the desk and pound on him was 
overwhelming.

"Jeans will be fine." She smiled.  "And a tee-shirt, perhaps."

"Wasn't planning on goin' bare-chested," Doggett muttered, 
looking down, hoping he wasn't blushing.  He didn't need the 
thought of Agent Scully picturing his naked torso.

Mulder couldn't resist. "How disappointing..."

"Go and research something, Mulder." Scully selected a file from 
the in-box. "Take this with you." She tossed it to him.

"You're no fun, Scully," he complained, but wandered  to the 
door, anyway. He waved over to Doggett. "See you tonight, 
Johnny."

Oblivious to the nasty look he was getting, Mulder winked. "And 
don't forget that haircut, will you? Our perp. Likes the 
military look."  Without waiting for a reply, he grinned at 
Doggett and left, whistling an Abba tune.

Behind her desk, Scully sighed. "Sorry," she said, shrugging and 
indicating the empty doorway. Doggett grunted, not trusting 
himself to speak. He looked down at the file, sorting through 
the scenes-of-crime work.

Bad enough he should get the short straw with this case, but to 
have Mulder ragging on him made it just peachy. Maybe if he was 
really lucky, someone would catch this maniac before tomorrow 
night, and he wouldn't have to go to some queer bar and act like 
one of the girls. And just how the hell was he supposed to do 
that?  How did guys behave in those places? Was everyone 
expecting him to...  Images from past vice-squad videotapes 
bounced around in his mind.

Shit.
He rooted in his side drawer for an aspirin.
Damn Mulder.
Damn Kersh.
And damn this headache.


                         *

Part 3/16




Friday evening.
Doggett Residence, Falls Church.
7.45 p.m.


John Doggett stood in front of his bathroom mirror, staring 
without seeing. Leaning one hand on the edge of the sink, he 
dragged his razor over his chin instinctively. He was not 
looking forward to this. Not one little bit. The whole thing 
just wasn't his scene.

Mulder might be right at home in the Eros Club  - probably 
wouldn't turn a hair, but the whole idea didn't lift John 
Doggett's dress one little bit. He grimaced at the analogy. Then 
sighed.

Okay, okay, maybe he'd been lucky, or unlucky enough to have run 
into a few offers in his time, but he'd never taken them up. 
Never wanted to... Sudden memory of another man's warm hand on 
his chest in the Marine showers... He paused. Foam dripped down 
on his chest. Had he ever wanted to?  Even just a little? For 
curiosity's sake? His macho mind skidded away from answering 
that. It was a stupid question. He'd been married, Had a son. He 
was straight. And he was about to go into a gay bar and pretend 
to be right at home.
Shit.

What would Rudy have made of this? He'd have laughed his ass off 
and offered to show him the ropes, that's what Rudy would have 
made of it.  Doggett smiled through the foam.  Good old Rudy. 
One of the best Marines he ever served with, best drinkers he'd 
ever gotten slammed with, and the only man who'd ever put his 
hand on him, without getting punched out. No - If he'd ever 
wanted to wander along the road less travelled, he'd have 
wandered down  it hand in hand with Lieutenant Rudy Wallis. He 
grinned at the memory of Rudy drunkenly telling him he'd 
consider it a great privilege to be the one to fuck John every 
which way to Sunday, should he ever get the urge.

He shook his head, rinsing his razor. Good friend. Regularly 
told him he was very disappointed John'd never felt the need to 
take him up on the offer. The memory sharpened to Rudy lying in 
the street, still relentlessly offering to give John a blow job 
while his life bled  away. He had been royally pissed that the 
one and only time he got to lie in John Doggett's arms, was as 
he died.
He was glad he finally gave his friend the kiss he'd asked for 
every day for five years. The look on his face had made it worth 
the embarrassment.. He pushed the memory away. See ya, Rudy, 
man.

He stared in the mirror.  Shit!  What was he doing? He'd shaved 
without thinking - it was what he'd do automatically, if he was 
going out on a date. Damn! What if men all went stubbled to 
these places? He glared at himself. Half done. Oh great. He was 
neither one thing or the other. He shook his head in disgust at 
his lack of thought, and finished the job.  He'd just have to be 
one of the clean-shaven queers.

The sound of the doorbell rang out as he was  finishing up, 
making him jump, cutting his chin. Shit! Dabbing angrily at the 
welling spot, he charged out of the bathroom and down the 
stairs. The bell rang again.

"Okay, okay," he yelled. "Keep your panties on!"

He flung the door open and glared at Mulder, standing with his 
finger on the bellpush. He had known... Just known it would be 
him. "I'm not deaf, Agent Muldah," he growled.

Mulder's eyebrows jumped. He raked his gaze up and down the body 
in front of him. Doggett remembered his state of undress. He 
felt himself colouring up and fought the urge to cover himself 
with his hands.

"Nice look, Agent Doggett," Mulder said, nodding. "The whole  
wet' thing suits you, I think." Eyes narrowed, Doggett opened 
his mouth to tell Mulder to take a flying fuck.

"I still think a tee-shirt would be an idea, though." Scully 
stepped from behind Mulder's back, a smile of amusement playing 
on her lips, as she did the up-and-down thing with her eyes. "I 
have no idea where we'd put the wire, otherwise."

Great. Now he knew he was blushing. Shit. Why hadn't he stopped 
to pull a shirt on?

"You'd better come in," he muttered, moving to one side. 
Chuckling, the two of them walked inside. Closing the door 
without slamming it was an exercise in self-control.  Out of 
sight of the other agents, Doggett shut his eyes briefly, 
leaning his forehead on the back of the door. Damn.

"Okay if we set up here?" Scully called through from the 
kitchen.

"Sure." He called. He really couldn't give a shit where she set 
up. Alaska would be fine with him. Or even outer-Goddamned-
space.

"Let's rock and roll, Agent Doggett," Mulder was cheerful to the 
point of obnoxious. Doggett dragged himself from the hall and 
into the lounge.  "Come on. Time's a-wastin'. And the man of 
your nightmares might be looking for you, as we speak." He 
pointed at Doggett's head. "Love what you've done with your 
hair, baby."

"Yeah, well." He could feel another wave of colour threatening 
to change the shade of his ears. "I read the files, too. Gotta 
match the profile." The barber in his usual shop had raised an 
eyebrow at the request for a very short back-and-sides, this 
evening. Asked if he had a hot date. He hadn't bothered 
explaining.

"Mind if I get dressed, first?" He said, conscious of his state 
of undress, and waving a hand at his chest,  moved towards the 
stairs.

Scully shook her head. "Let me fix the mic, first."  She pulled 
reams of wires out of the briefcase on the counter. "I need bare 
skin to tape to." Shit. He'd forgotten about that particular 
joy.

"Um..."

"Come on, now. Don't be a baby." Mulder took his elbow and 
pulled. "It's not gonna hurt. Not until she rips it off, 
anyway."

Doggett looked pointedly at the hand, then back up to Mulder. He 
made no attempt to move. Getting the point, Mulder let go. 
"Okay, okay. Have it your way."  He turned, yelling. "Scully, 
tell him!"

"Shut up, Mulder." Doggett walked into the kitchen, annoyance 
overcoming nerves. What was there to be embarrassed about? She 
was a Doctor, for heaven's sake. She'd seen bodies before. Okay, 
so hers were usually dead, he told himself, approaching her. 
Suck it up, Marine. Be a man. He stood in front of her, 
squashing his embarrassment. "How d'you want me?"

Scully glanced up from the electrical spaghetti. "Dry, might be 
a good start." She nodded to the towel rack. "The tape won't 
take, otherwise."

"Oh. Yeah."  He snatched a dish towel and rubbed at the damp 
spots on his chest. He gave his face a once-over too and tossed 
the towel in the washer. He put a finger to his chin, 
inspecting. It'd stopped bleeding.

"Nice house." Mulder wandered in, looking at everything.

"Thank you." Automatic response. Product of good manners. He 
really wanted to tell Mulder to sit the fuck down and stop being 
so goddamned nosy, but he held his tongue and walked back to 
Scully.

"Okay. Dried."

She glanced at his chest again. Didn't seem to faze her, but 
damn! It made him nervous.  Being the only half-naked person in 
the room will do that to you. Her head cocked one way then the  
other.  She held up the thin wire.

"I can't decide where to put it."

Mulder sniggered. Doggett turned his head to give him a  look, 
but Scully didn't seem to be paying him any mind.

"Do you think the perp would feel it if I tape it to your side?"

Doggett's eyes widened. "What?"

"You know. He might feel it if you end up dancing or something." 
Shit!  What the fuck? His mind went into overdrive. Dancing' was 
bad enough. He was having a hard enough time with  dancing'. But 
the idea of something' was really doing a number on his 
imagination.

"Agent Scully..." he began. How was he going to put this? That 
there was no fuckin' way on God's green earth he was going to 
dance with another man, let alone allow  something'.

"Maybe there." She leaned forward and held the wire to his 
chest, just below his sternum. His belly jerked. Scully looked 
up and grinned. A real-life, honest-to-goodness grin.  
"Ticklish?"

Despite his discomfort, Doggett grinned back down at her. Oh, 
yes, he thought to himself. Very. But he decided many years ago, 
that it wasn't very butch, and downright foolish, to admit it. 
Especially to a woman. So he lied.

"Not so's you'd notice."

"Okay," she said, looking back at what she was doing. Her 
fingers were a little chilly, as she moved the wire around, 
trying out different positions. Doggett bit down on the inside 
of his lip to keep from laughing. Torture. It was sheer torture. 
Perhaps he should have told the truth. Maybe she'd ease up with 
the touching, if she knew what this was doing to him. One cool 
hand steadied itself on  his side, as the wire travelled from 
belly to shoulder, with his partner making little grunts of 
disapproval. He tipped his head back a little, swallowing howls 
of laughter. If she kept this up much longer, he'd either wet 
his pants or scream himself into a heap.

"Make your mind up, Scully. The poor guy's dying with you 
groping him all over." A relieved breath hissed out between 
Doggett's lips as Scully straightened up. She glanced at the man 
draped over a kitchen stool.

"I am not groping him, Mulder." She frowned. "This new wire is 
tricky." A lip disappeared between her teeth. "I can't decide 
the most discreet place to put it."

"I..."

Scully held up her hand, without even glancing at Mulder. "No. 
No suggestions, thank you. That's not helping."

Mulder shrugged. "Only offering." You could offer to fuck off 
out of my house and not sit there, staring at me like a leper at 
a moisturizing convention, Doggett thought, nastily. The other 
man hadn't taken his eyes off the tickle-fest for a second. What 
was with that?  Whatever Mulder's reasons for staring, fact was, 
it was making him very uncomfortable.

"That's it!" Scully snapped her fingers, making them both jump.

"What's it?" Doggett asked, pathetically grateful she was 
keeping her hands to herself, and not torturing him any more.

"His help."  She smiled happily and waved her hand. "Get over 
here, Mulder. I want to borrow you."

"Ooh! Talk dirty to me, Scul!" Mulder unfolded himself and 
hurried over to her.

"Hold him." she indicated Doggett.

"What?" Mulder frowned.

"Hold him," she said again.

"Agent Scully, I don't need to be held down." He shook his head. 
"I'm not that ticklish. Honest." The last thing in the world  he 
wanted to do, was give Fox Mulder the perverse satisfaction of 
holding him immobile while Scully poked and prodded at his body.

"I don't mean hold you down." She made encircling motions with 
her arms.  "I mean  hold'. Like you're dancing." Doggett stared 
at her. She couldn't be serious, he thought. No way.


                         *

Part 4/16


"I beg your pardon?" he said, erring on the side of good 
manners.

"Dancing." Scully moved her hips and sashayed. Mulder nodded, 
understanding far more than Doggett wanted him to.

"Oh yeah, I see where you're going with this. See if I can feel 
the wire."

"Bingo."

"No." Doggett backed up. "No way."  Abso-fucking-lutely no way. 
His ass hit the work surface. His hands came up as Mulder 
approached.

"Hey, Doggett. What's the problem?" Mulder asked, another of 
those grins all over his face.

"You're the problem, Agent." He tried glaring at the other man. 
It didn't seem to be having any effect.

"Come on, Agent Doggett. How else will we know if the wire is 
detectable?" Scully had her hands on her hips and a scowl on her 
face. It was one of her I'm-going-to-get-my-own-way scowls. Not 
this time, sister, Doggett thought.

"It'll be fine," he snapped.

"No it won't."

"Come here, Doggett," Mulder grinned, holding his hands out. 
"Give us a cuddle."

"Fuck you." The words popped out without Doggett's permission. 
Scully's eyebrows went up.

Mulder laughed.  "Maybe later, big boy." Glancing at Scully, 
Doggett rubbed his fingers over his wrinkled forehead and bobbed 
his head.

"I apologise for my language, Agent Scully," he said. He was 
mortified he'd let his temper get the better of him.  His father 
would have whipped his ass for using that word in front of a 
woman.  Southern manners were a pain in the ass sometimes.

"Not a problem, Agent Doggett." Scully shrugged.  "I'm a 
sailor's daughter. I've heard worse."

Mulder chuckled. "She's said worse, too, man." He tilted his 
head on one side. "But I wouldn't push your luck, if I were you. 
Now come on." He held out his arms. All the other words he could 
use that would have gotten him a thrashing from his Pa ran 
through Doggett's mind, all the way to a little trapdoor marked  
common sense'. He knew this was one he was not going to get out 
of with any dignity. If at all. He sighed.

"There's a good boy." Mulder was really going to get it, one of 
these days.

"Behave, Mulder." Scully stepped towards them, the wire 
dangling. "Try this." She slapped the thin mic to his left side, 
in a none-too gentle fashion. Doggett got the message. Behave or 
be hurt.  He reluctantly stepped forward. One wise-crack. Just 
one smart-assed remark...

"Okay," Mulder said, relentlessly invading Doggett's personal 
space. Big hands went to the top of denim-clad hips. Shit. What 
the fuck? Confusion raced through Doggett's mind. What was he 
supposed to do with his hands?  Where was he even supposed to 
look, for cryin' out loud?

"Come on, Agent Doggett. Make an effort." Mulder pulled on the 
hips under his hands and yanked Doggett forward. Their groins 
bumped. This was way.... way too close. The growl he was 
nurturing, threatened to crawl out of his throat.

"Mulder..." he warned.

"Look," Mulder stared at him, so near that Doggett could smell 
those damned sunflower seeds on his breath.. "How're you gonna 
get this done tonight, if you can't even bear to touch me?"

Scully sucked a breath through her teeth. "He's got a point, 
Agent Doggett. It won't look good on our report if you mess up 
through latent homophobia."

Doggett glared at her. "I'm not a homophobe, Agent Scully."

"Really?" Mulder grinned and bumped their hips together again.

"Really." Doggett snapped back. "I'm a Muldahphobe."

There was a long pause, the ticking of the kitchen clock the 
only thing bold enough to make a sound, and then, peals of 
laughter bubbled out of Mulder. Doggett lean back in surprise. 
This wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting. A punch in the 
mouth maybe, or a major sulk, but not this. Giggling helplessly, 
Mulder pulled Doggett into a hug. Shocked, Doggett allowed it. 
He wondered which one of them was unhinged.

"Oh, John Doggett!" Mulder broke away, wiping his face. "That's 
the most honest thing I think you've said to me!"

Doggett looked doubtfully at the man in front of him. "I'm glad 
you're impressed."

"Oh yeah." Mulder shook his head. "Thank you."

"You're one twisted guy, Fox Muldah," Doggett said, his face 
creased in confusion.

"Better believe it," Mulder replied. "Now where were we?"  The 
long arms snaked back around Doggett's waist.

"Can you feel it?" Scully asked,  peering between the two of 
them. I hope to God she's talking about the wire, Doggett 
thought, trying not to squirm. He could smell Mulder's shampoo, 
feel every button on his shirt. It was making him even more 
nervous.  And he didn't know why. He was sure his ears were 
turning bright red.

Mulder chuckled. "You do mean the wire, don't you, Scully?" 
There was the sound of a small hand slapping someone's back.

"Yes, Mulder. The wire."

"I dunno." To Doggett's chagrin, Mulder wriggled closer. "Maybe 
if I..." Mulder pulled closer, slipping his chin up onto a bare 
shoulder. The hands slid up Doggett's sides, brushing across 
skin, raising goosebumps. They wandered across a very tense 
back. Instinctively, Doggett raised his own hands and rested 
them on the biceps. Damn. This felt weird. If it was a woman in 
his arms he could... No. Doggett squashed that thought dead.

"I don't think I can feel it. What d'you think, Agent Doggett?"  
Mulder's breath was warm in his ear. Doggett frowned, disturbed 
by the feeling. It wasn't as unpleasant as he would have 
imagined. And that was as distracting as shit.

"I... er, no." He floundered, embarrassed, wondering what he was 
supposed to be saying. What he was supposed to be feeling. 
Confusion and consternation did battle in his head, both finally 
giving way to anger. "How the hell would I know?" he snapped 
verging on the edge of his temper. I'm wearing the damn thing."

"Oh yeah." Mulder was milking this, Doggett realised. He gripped 
the arms under his hands and pushed roughly away.

"Satisfied?" he asked Scully, keeping his eyes steadfastly away 
from the man in front of him.

"I don't know..." Scully frowned.  She moved to pull the wire 
from his skin. The tape ripped with a bite.

"Ow!" he complained, letting go of Mulder and clamping a hand to 
his side.

"Told you it'd hurt," Mulder grinned.

"Don't be a baby," Scully admonished, advancing again.

"It stings," Doggett told her. He'd like to see her have sticky-
tape ripped from her skin without complaint.

"Take it like a man, Agent Doggett." Mulder leaned against the 
counter, arms folded. He was enjoying himself way too much, 
Doggett thought. Sick sack of shit.

"Try here." Scully jabbed her hand forward and slapped the wire 
in the first place she'd tried. Doggett rolled his eyes. Just 
like a woman.

"Okay. Fine."  He looked down at the intrusion. Good job he 
didn't have a hairy chest, he thought. That'd be a bitch to pull 
off.

"Good job you're a smoothie," Mulder remarked. "Skinner nearly 
went through the roof when he did a tap last year." Doggett gave 
Mulder a sideways glance. He wondered if Mulder had spent a lot 
of time staring at their boss while he'd had a tap fitted, or if 
he was just the lucky one.

"Well?" Scully waved her hand at Doggett's body.

"Why don't you try?" Mulder offered.

"It wouldn't work, Mulder." Scully looked a little 
uncomfortable.

"And why's that, might I ask?"

She gave him a look. "I'm not tall enough, Agent Mulder. That's 
why. I don't reach the same bits as another man would."

"Ah. I see." A grin. Doggett had the sneakiest of feelings that 
Mulder had known Scully's answer before he asked the question. 
Then suddenly he got it. A flash of insight. Mulder was just 
friggin' around. Messin' with his mind. Well fuck that. Two 
could play dirty.  He reached for Mulder.

"Come here," he ordered. Pulling the other man  none too gently 
towards him, he wrapped himself around a gaping agent, in a 
full, tight body hug.

"What...?"  Mulder gasped, all his breath squeezed out of his 
body. Smirking with the sweet sound of victory in his ears, 
Doggett ground himself against Mulder.

"Can you feel that, Agent Muldah?"  He growled in the other 
man's ear. He'd give the smart-mouthed SOB something to profile. 
Have him in therapy before you could say Agent Asswipe.

"Um..." It made a pleasant change not to get some smart-assed 
remark.

"Well?" He turned his head away from Scully and whispered in an 
ear. "Can you feel this?" he murmured.

Um... No, Agent Doggett."  Mulder struggled against the embrace. 
"I can't feel the wire." It was like holding a panicking cat. 
Mulder wriggled and squirmed.

"Okay...okay. Lemme go!" Finally laughing for the first time 
that day, Doggett released the other agent. Mulder sprang away 
as if singed.

"What did you do that for?" he whined.

"Do what?" Doggett grinned his lop-sided grin.

"Oh stop fussing, Mulder." Scully had missed the sub-text to the 
situation. But he knew damn well Mulder hadn't. He raised an 
eyebrow, challenging him to make something of it. Mulder looked 
away,  saying nothing. Two-nothin' to the Big Dawg. Perhaps this 
wasn't going to be such a crappy case, after all.

"Was that okay?" Scully looked from one to the other.

"Fine by me," Doggett told her, shrugging. Mulder made some sort 
of grunting noise and folded his arms, defensively.

"Is that a  yes', Mulder?"  He grunted again and Scully sighed.

"Fine." She reached for the roll of tape. "Lets secure that 
there, then." Stripping off a generous length of tape, Scully's 
firm fingertips pressed the wire flush to Doggett's chest, the 
radio transmitting tail disappearing down towards his jeans.  He 
watched her work, her tongue sticking out from between her lips 
as she concentrated.

"There you go." She patted the tape. "That shouldn't be too 
uncomfortable." Waving vaguely she indicated his jeans. "You can 
tuck the tail in yourself."

Doggett grinned, the thought of asking her to do it for him, 
tickling his lips. It'd almost be worth it to watch her blush. 
The trapdoor of common sense slammed in his mind. Maybe not, he 
re-considered, shoving the wire down his jeans with his left 
hand.  She'd probably shoot him.

"What are you going to put on?" she was asking, as she packed 
away the kit.

Doggett looked up, blankly. "Huh?" Oops. Wasn't paying 
attention.

She flapped her free hand up and down. "Clothes. On top. What?"

"Dunno." He shrugged, and slipped the latch on the trapdoor in 
his mind. Grinning, he turned to the sulky man by the sink. 
"Whadd'you think, Agent Muldah?"

"What d'you mean?"

"Whadd'you think I should go for?"  This was actually quite fun. 
He could suddenly see what Mulder saw in baiting people. 
"Button-down or tee-shirt? Which d'ya think'll look good?"

"Why're you asking me?" Oh, boy, did that man have a pout, when 
he put his mind to it.

"Well, you seemed to have a pretty good  idea about what I'd 
look good in, this morning." Mulder pulled a face.

"Well, Mulder?" Scully folded her arms. A faint smile was 
playing on her lips.

"Oh, I don't know." Mulder pushed himself off the counter.  
"Suit yourself."  He stalked off into the lounge.

Scully chuckled. She looked over at Doggett and winked. "Touche, 
I think," she said.

"Oh yeah." Doggett smiled back at her. "Payback's a bitch, ain't 
it?" he whispered.