X-Files "Bestsellers"

I got these from Dreamland's fun page. I wanted to share them because I thought they were freakin' hilarious! :oD They were written by: Milagro6, Perpuctory, Moosefash, Soulessgrrrl, Alexa135, Julie, Charmdragon, Vulturespock, Debra168, Marcine73, Xephyrine, Kennel Keeper and Anasedai. This isn't all of them, just my favorites.

"What To Do if You are Price Scanned" by D K Scully

"Safe Betting With Dollars To Doughnuts" by J. Dogget

"Chicken Soup for the Alien Soul" by the greys

"Box of Chocolates: The Perfunctory Truth." by Raul Bloodworth aka CSM

"Burn It! The Syndicate Guide To Burning A Person Alive." by CSM

"Sex, Lies, and Videotapes" by X

"The Comperhensive Guide to Unidentified Implants (The Sinus Cavity Version)" by b.miles

"Aliens Have a Better Chance of Appearing Than Me" by Charlie Scully

"Be The Person You've Always Wanted To Be" by The Alien Bounty Hunter

"The Sixth Sense, The Third Eye" by Gibson Praise and John Doggett

"How to Say Absolutely Nothing In the Course of An Hour" by Chris Carter

"Make That Unforgettable First Impression On Your Second Partner" by Dana Scully

"I Keep the X-Rated Files For Myself" by F.W. Mulder.

"Three Agents and a Baby" by D.Scully, F.Mulder and J.Doggett

"It Was Just an Illusion" by Season 8

"Who's Your Daddy?" by CG Spender

"I've Got You Under My Skin" by D. Pfaster

"I'm Under Your Skin" by the Black Oil

"I've Got You Under My Thumb" by Alex Krycek (dedicated to Skinner)

"10 Ways to Keep Fish Without Feeding Them" by FWM

"10 Greatest Positions to Sleep on Your Couch Without Back Pain" by FWM

"How to Escape a Russian Prision and Survive" by M F Luder

"Ignorance is Bliss" by W T Skinner

"WTF" by F Mulder

"Is That a Gun in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?" by DKScully

"Cornmunion-Transgeneric Crops That Are Polygenically Altered To Carry A Virus" by F. Mulder (with a forward by D. Scully as to why anybody would be growing corn in the middle of the desert.)

"Fine Dining Etiquette" by the Souleater

"The Voices in My Head" by D. Barry

"I Could Tell You But Then I'd Have To Kill You, My Story" by X

"Cruel Intentions" by Chris Carter.

"How to Look Great on a G-Woman's Salary" by D.K. Scully.

"How to Spend the Government's Money and Live to Tell About It" by D. Scully and F. Mulder

"My Experiences with 'Snake Handling' Catholic Girls" by F. Mulder

"The Art of Using My Right Hand" by F. Mulder OR

"The Art of Using My Left Hand" by Krycek

"Me, Myself and Morleys" by CGB Spender

"Wind Beneath My Wings" by TheBatThingFromPatience

"From Behind the Camera Lens" aka "You are Being Watched" by the Consortium's Surveillance Man.

"Smooth Moves" by Well-Manicured Man.

"I Ruined the Moment - and Died in the Bargain" by That Da*ned Bee.

"Alien Abduction, The Family Curse" by Fox Mulder.

"Legal Aliens" by A.B. Hunter.

"How NOT to See An Alien Spacecraft, Even When One Is Staring You In The Face" AKA "Too Blind To See" by Dana Katherine Scully.

"Call Me Crazy" by F.W. Mulder.

"The Science on How to Wear a Very Tight Blouse with Buttons Popping Open" by D. Scully

"Complete Guide to Heart Surgery WITHOUT the Tools" by P. Paggett

"Tips to Surviving the Afterlife" by Fox Mulder (w/ John Doggett)

"Camping Out and Other Disasters of Nature" by Agents Mulder and Scully

"101 ways to assasinate men bad for your sister." by Bill Scully Jr.

"The misunderstood alien" by A. B. Hunter

"Monday...Monday...Monday" by Bernard...Bernard...Bernard.

"Will The Real Arthur Dales Please Stand Up?" by Arthur Dales.

"How to Drive Cross Country Without A Bathroom Break" by F.W. Mulder (Drive).

"The Odd Couple" by J. Doggett and D. Scully

"The Missing Gun?" by M.F. Luder

"Mommy Dearest" by Teena Mulder

"God I Hate This Planet" by T.A. Boutyhunter

"Where's The Bed?" - by Morris Fletcher, foreword written by Eddie Van BlundHt

"Vampires With Sexy Teeth...I Was Drugged." - by Dana

"The Name's Frohike, You Punk Ass." - by Melvin Frohike

"How to Avoid Dropping Dead from Lung Cancer" by CSM

"Ten step's to beautiful hair" by A Lonegun Man

"Beginner's Guide to Pissing Off Your Superiors" by F. Mulder

"How to dress in low-cut, skin-tight, see-through tops and STILL not get your partner's attention." by M.J. Reyes

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