RPcrazy (Anne B)

STARRING:
Robert Patrick, Linda Carol, Ed Crick, Bob Schott, Ursula 
Marquee, Elizabeth Oropesa and Richard Norton

RATINGS:
RP droolability - 10 I could eat him all up. 
The shirt off factor - 10 OMG! Those muscles.
Spine tingling looks/stares - 8 Doesn't beat Doggett
The gravely voice - 8 Sounds so young
Presence in movie - 10 Top billing
Swear-o-meter - 4 For a number of SOBs and one 'f' word


SYNOPSIS:

The story starts in 2025AD where Matthew (Richard Norton) finds 
the spear of Longinus it must be joined with its sheath to end 
the reign of evil by ruthless dictators. Matthew goes back in 
time to 1986 with the spear to search for the sheath. After 
being shot he tells Slade (Robert Patrick) and Michelle, 
Slade's girlfriend, the whole story. They go on the quest, at 
their own peril, to find the sheath.


MY THOUGHTS - Help! Call for Overactors Anonymous

This is 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' type story but not in the 
same league. The story is awful, the acting bad and the music 
forgettable. There are so many inconsistencies and unrealistic 
scenes. The polystyrene rocks look like fake rocks and they 
obviously use the same rocks over and over. The exploding 
'model' house and the 'toy' helicopter were a laugh. The only 
saving grace of this movie is that RP looks such a hunk. 
Slade's girlfriend Michelle is horrible. She's snappy, bitchy, 
dull and downright nasty to our man. If he kissed me on the 
shoulder like he kissed her in the bedroom I'd be all over him. 
She just pulls away with negative body language. She didn't 
need to act this way - it did not enhance the script.


RP's INVOLVEMENT - Top billing

At first I thought, "Where's our man?" There's another guy who 
looks like he's going to be the hero. I was cheering when he 
died of a gunshot wound. Aren't I nasty - lol. So be prepared 
for 12 minutes of non-RP action at the start of the flick. RP 
looks so young here, like a teenager. I just stare at him open-
mouthed for the whole film - he's is absolutely scrumptious. 
He's obviously been working out and it suits him - those 
muscles!!! * picks herself up off the floor *


RP FASHION STATEMENT

The way he dresses in this film has me panting like a dog. When 
we first see him he's in a white T-shirt and jeans and that 
hair! The way he fills out those clothes especially the jeans, 
it's a wonder it all fits in. Later, lying on the bed all he's 
wearing is tight shorts and a bare, muscly chest. He's so 
obviously been working out. The rolled up sleeves in Hong Kong 
had me drooling. In Manilla he wears sexy sunnies. That Y-
fronts scene in the bedroom makes me dizzy with 
hyperventilation. Doesn't leave much to the imagination down in 
that area. Later he wears a very stunning black jacket, black T 
and dark jeans.

MEMORABLE LINES
Most are forgettable
Fielding: "Slade, is that your first or last name?"
Slade: "Last, I prefer to use it. My first name's Poindexter."

MEMORABLE SCENES
* The way he fills out those T-shirts, jeans and Y-fronts.
* Blowing up the 'model' house and 'toy' helicopter.
* RP is good at understanding that 'Mongol' language.
* Polystyrene rocks - wasn't that the same one I saw earlier?
* What a forgettable final scene - very forgettable.


END THOUGHTS

Not particularly one for the collector but you have to see it 
for a young RP and judge how his acting skills have improved 
since 1986. Also his body shots in this flick are to-die-for.