Rejected Dialogue

Dialogue is color-coded to indicate the person that wrote it. RD writers are Spookycc, Roxy, Tasha, Kabbie, Lauracapo, Diandra, and Jessica from "Television Without Pity". (Jessica's were slightly altered in some cases to fit the 'rejected dialogue format') Any others are specified next to the dialogue they wrote.

From Hellbound:

Doggett: So, what am I missing?
Reyes: Come to my hotel room tonight and I'll show you. I'll be wearing that midnight blue teddy you like so much.

Doggett: Monica? What da hell are you dreamin' about?
Reyes: What do you think? Look what I'm wearin'!

Doggett: I don't believe this.
Reyes: Like we've never heard *that* before.

Doggett: What are we lookin' for?
Reyes: I don't know...
Doggett: Oh, and we've never heard *that* before???

[After Doggett and Scully greet each other with a bit of awkwardness]
Reyes: I'd like him to see the body.
Scully [reaching for the buttons on her shirt]: Well, okay... [smiles shyly at Doggett]

Reyes: I have something I want to tell you.
Doggett: No way! There is no *way* you are pregnant! We only did it that one time!

Reyes: I have something I want to tell you.
Doggett: You told me you were on the pill!

Scully: He's trying. We all are.
Reyes: After May, it won't matter anyway.

Reyes: John, phone.
Doggett: Where's my pants?

From Provenance:

Reyes (in front of Scully's apartment): What happened? Is it John?
Scully (running back to her car): John *who*?

Skinner: I've been tied up, Doggett--
Doggett: Hey, what you and Mulder do on your own time is none of my business.

Doggett: I got it.
Reyes: Got what?
Doggett: That sexy lingerie I've had my eye on for you.

Doggett: Did this man have any kind of a weapon?
Scully: A pillow.
Doggett: Oooooo, lethal weapon four?

Doggett: I'm right behind you guys.
Scully: What's wrong?
Doggett: Probably nothing. Either that or this day is about to get royally f***ed.

Reyes (to Scully, in car going to see TLG): Dana, does it not bother you that John said he'd be right behind us? And now he's not? And he doesn't know where we're going? And we have *his* car?

Scully: ...a spacecraft, Agent Doggett, if you can wrap your brain around that...
Doggett: I'd rather wrap something around you...and it ain't gonna be my brain!

From Providence:

Doggett: This voice in my head was talkin' to me...
Reyes: You know, they have a medication for that...

Scully (at Doggett's bedside): I didn't mean for this to happen. I also didn't mean to run away in front of my apartment the other night, leaving you on my street like roadkill.

From Audrey Pauley:

Doggett: I'm thinkin' about gettin' a cat.
Reyes: Here's a little pussy you can have....

Reyes: There are cat people and there are dog people. You're a dog person, John.
Doggett: How do you figure?
Reyes: I've seen the way your tongue hangs out when you're watching Agent Scully.

Reyes: It's like a set - a movie set - but like it was built by someone who couldn't quite grasp how to create it.
Murdock: They spent the last of the set design money to get Duchovny back.

Steven's wife: Does he feel any pain?
Bad Doc: Not til he gets my bill.

Audrey: You have to go. This way.
Reyes: (looks into abyss) Not very damned likely.

Reyes: There are cat people and there are dog people. You're a dog person, John.
Doggett: How do you figure?

Reyes: "You're faithful, you're dependable, you're without guile and you're very comfortable to be also know how to sit, stay and play dead...and you drool when you sleep."

Scully: Brain death is indeed death, John. Unless you're Mulder. Or me. Or you. Or Skinner. Or Krycek. Or CSM.

Dr. Evil to family (after he pulls the plug on Marvin.) I am so very sorry for your loss. Now, get out of my way so I can get to his liver.

At the hospital when Stephen flatlines:
Mrs. Stephen: Does he feel any pain?
Dr. Evil: Absolutely none. Now, please scootch over. You're blocking my access to his pancreas.

Scully: John, I'm still waiting for your argument. I need you to give me a good reason not to pull the plug.
Doggett: How about that your boyfriend was six feet under for three months and he still turned out alive?

Scully: John, I'm still waiting for your argument. I need you to give me a good reason not to pull the plug.
Monica, coming out of coma: John.
Scully: Well, I guess that'll do.

From Improbable:

Scully (to Mr. Burt): You stay right here.
Mr. Burt: Oh, you're not getting rid of me...
Scully: No, I've got enough bullets left to make sure it doesn't come to that...

Scully (on phone to Reyes, both in bed, yatta, yatta): All right, I need to know.
Reyes: Know what?
Scully: What are you wearing?

"Burt" (at bar, waiting for his 7&7 & his Morleys): The service sucks here.

Scully (on phone to Reyes): All right, I need to know.
Reyes: Know what?
Scully: Just how good *is* John in the sack?

Scully: So you haven't actually solved these cases.
Reyes: Maybe "cracked" is a better word.
Scully: I'll say.

From Scary Monsters:

Harrison: "If Agent Mulder was here…"
Doggett: "Wit' all due respect, Agent Harrison, why don't you shut the f*** up?"

Rejected Dialogue (after Gabe crashed through the door and onto the floor):
Harrison: Agent Mulder never would have done that.

Tommy: You won't do it. You're just trying to scare me.
Doggett: <lights match> Got asbestos?

Scully: Speak of the devil.
Doggett: Let's leave my ears outta this.

From William:

Laura: C'mon Scully. Dental records? Pull down his pants. ;-D

Doggett: I think that man is Fox Mulder.
Scully: I think you've been kicked in the head one too many times.

Monica: Dana, the room's all fresh for you. I threw out all the old bedding and bought some brand new stuff, ok?
Dana: Not tonight, Monica. I have a headache.

Rejected dialogue/scene:
Scully: Welcome back Mulder! Listen, a lot has happened since I last saw you okay? First of all, I gave William away. Yeah, I know that seems really extreme but people just kept on breaking in and smothering him, trying to inject him with stuff...and that's of course not counting all the times I allowed TOTAL STRANGERS to sleep right across from him without even THINKING of checking on him! Oh, and Bush's new Homeland Security guys were putting cameras everywhere in the place, on the back of the toilet, geeze just everywhere. So, I started to thinking that maybe William was a little too much work for a single mom. I DO HAVE A CAREER YOU KNOW MULDER! Hey, maybe if YOU were HERE once and a while...

From Release:

Cadet (at the end of a long, detailed description of how the victim was murdered):"...Like I said...obvious."
Scully (shifting nervously): "Uh, yeah...I knew that..."

Reyes (to Doggett): "We were supposed to meet in the office this morning, remember? I told you last night? I brought the fur-lined handcuffs." (she strokes her hand over his arm suggestively, grinning)

Reyes: So, Barb, is the old wives tale true about big hands and feet?
Barbara: Oh, honey, the stories I could tell...
Scully: How about those ears? They're pretty damn sensitive, aren't they?
~Lisa K.

Reyes: I saw you take money from a mob guy.
Follmer: That was no mob guy. That was my pimp.

Doggett: 7 year old boy rides his bike around the block...
Cadet: Jeez, first you let him ride in the middle of the street, and now this?

Mrs. Doggett: I'm Barbara, John's ex-wife.
Scully: I'm Dana, John's ex-Special Agent.

Doggett: I think this guy Regali is greasing somebody.
Reyes: As in bribery?
Doggett: No, [Monica], as in really good anal sex.

From Sunshine Days:

Doggett: "All day long I hear how great Mulder is at this or how wonderful Mulder did that...Mulder, Mulder Mulder!" ~PuddinTime

Reyes: "Twice with the Ah-has. What happened to the 'Oh Gawd! Oh, Monica!'s?"

Doggett: I think I'm finally getting' the hang of this job.
Reyes: Enjoy it. For one more week...

From The Truth:

Prosecutor: It's an honor to speak to a man whose record is distinguished by such duty to his country. I'm not gonna doubt a man of your integrity, Agent Doggett, even if he tells me a story I find too incredible to believe.
Doggett: Let's cut the crap, ok?

Mulder: None of you will be safe now.
Scully: That never bothered you before...

Prosecutor: For gods' sake, Mr. Skinner, we're trying a man for murder, not taking a trip down memory lane.
Skinner: Hey, it's the last freakin' ep. Cut me some slack.

Doggett: I'll protect you, Gibson.
Gibson: Gee, like I've never heard *that* before.

Mulder: None of you will be safe now.
Doggett: You let us worry about that.
Reyes: Hey, thanks a lot, John.

Mulder: What color should I wear today? Hmmmm... Think I'll go with the orange. It shows off my ass so well.

(Chopper attack scene) CSM: Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

Mulder: Where's Gibson?
Reyes: He's with Scully. In good hands.
Unison: Yeah, right.

Scully: You'll never give up. That's what I saw in you from the start. It's why I followed you.
Mulder: Damn, you mean it wasn't my great ass or my sparkling personality?

Mulder (at any time during the episode): I see dead people... (okay, I realize that you've probably heard this one by now, but that *is* the first thing I thought of...)

(Scene: Skinner and Scully arrive in Mulder's jail cell and Mulder and Scully kiss for about an hour.)
Skinner: Um...I *am* still here, you know... Hello?!

Prosecutor: Your father should be brought to justice.
Jeff Spender: I believe my father is dead.
The Fans: :::hysterical laughter::: Yeah...right!

Alien Judge (after Gibson reveals him and everybody settles down): Can you tell what I'm thinking right now? (evil glare)
Gibson: *gulp*

Scully: I found it!
Mulder: What?
Scully: What's going to get you off.
Mulder (eyes wide, blushing): is not exactly the time for that...

Scully: Mulder, Kersh told us to go north, you just got on a road going south.
Mulder: When was the last time I ever did something Kersh told me to do, hmm?

CSM: Now you can die.
Mulder: CAN YOU?!?!!

Kersh: Is there anything you'd like to say on your behalf before we decide your sentance?
Mulder: Yes. (gives Kersh the finger)

Rejected mind-reading (paraphrased):
According to Gibson, three of the five judges are leaning toward Mulder. And also, Kersh was thinking that he might get a TiVo, because he keeps missing Passions, and he's sure Julian Crane is going to turn up any day, with one arm and an eye patch, and if he misses that (or the reunion of Sheridan and Luis or the fight that'll occur when Luis finds out that Sheridan has amnesia and has been accidentally sleeping with his long-lost brother while living on a deserted island this whole time or the shit storm that's going to come down when Evil Zombie Charity finally sleeps with Tiny Gay Miguel and it kills him), he's going to be wicked pissed.

Mulder: No! You're dead!
Krycek: Maybe. But I'm still pretty.

Mulder: Whoo, now it's a party!
Doggett: Agent Muuuuldah.
Scully: What's wrong?
Reyes: Nothing. Other than the fact that your boyfriend's probably going to be put to death at the end of the next couple of days. We just felt left out, since you guys get to do all the making out and stuff.

Scully: God, where have you been? Where have you been hiding?
Mulder: The crowd at Target was murder.

Kersh: Is this all leading anywhere?
Mulder: Yeah, the destruction of all mankind.
Kersh: Shut your piehole, Spooky.

(when Skinner asks Spender what ever happened to Samantha.):
Spender: She was adopted by a family in Mexico, and then grew up and became an FBI Agent. I think you know her. Moronica Reyes?

Skinner: And Mulder's not accused of luring Noel Roaoaooaoaaoooor near to a source of magnetite and getting him sucked into a big rock is he?
Doggett: Um, no.

Prosecutor (to Doggett): Agent Doggett, isn't it true that you and Assistant Director Skinner are lovers and you're trying to adopt a love child?

Rejected dialogue/scene:
Skinner: "Hey, you know, that really sucks about Mulder, huh?"
Doggett: "Yeah."
Skinner: (After a long pause) "We could drive over there and bust him out."
Doggett: (shrugs, sips beer)
Skinner: (Another long pause as he sips his beer) " It would make Scully happy..."
Doggett: (gets up and tosses money onto the bar) "I'll drive."
~Liz W.

How Doggett & Reyes' disappearance will be resolved in the next X-Files movie:
Mulder: Where are John and Monica?
Scully: They're in the bathroom/On a meeting/Behind that tree/Their baby is sick/They've been abducted.

More rejected mind-reading:
Gibson: You're scared to believe, you think Mulder is a danger to everyone around him, you're bored and you'd rather be shooting something.
Doggett: Shut it, kid.
Gibson: And you'd like to see Dana and Monica in a hot tu-
Doggett: I said, shut it!

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